For months now, there has been a mini-battle raging in our home, and in particular, in my lil’ man, Justin.  You see, he had been telling us for months, quite emphatically, that he does NOT want to turn 13.  So you can imagine yesterday, his 13th birthday, was not a pretty picture in our home right?

Well, you’re almost right.  He has been saying for a while that he doesn’t want to be 13 yrs. old, he wants to be 16 yrs. old.  He had told us for weeks, and stuck by his decision, that he did not want presents, toys, or anything of the sort.  This from the child who always wanted enough to have a person thinking claiming bankruptcy would just be easier.  I kept wanting to ask him “Who are you and what did you do with my boy who always wants more dragon sets, another computer game, another console game, plus Warhammer figures?”, but I refrained.  I figured I’ll take this break.  It may be the only one we get right?  He decided all he wanted was Mama C’s gf/cf cookies from here.  I convinced him that it may be a cool idea if we got either a raw ice cream or gf/cf ice cream too and made them into ice cream sandwiches.  He was totally down with that.

So hours into his day, he comes out of my bathroom and tells me, “I can’t be 13 years old, I’m too little.”  I asked him if that was what has been behind him getting so distressed about his birthday and turning 13.  He said yes.  I told him not to worry, he’ll have growth spurts soon, just like his brother did, and be “bigger” soon enough.  Now being 13 is totally cool.

I want to point out a few things here.  First, I had to control laughing, because while this seriously tickled my funny bone, it was serious as all get out to him and something to be treated as such.  It’s important to remember that just because it’s something that may seem cute, or a smaller matter to us as parents, does not mean that it’s not entirely serious and at that particular moment possibly even crushing it’s weight down on our child.

Second, it shows me another point yet again (apparently I needed the reminder).  With autism, as with any other child hitting their teen years, the problem is rarely ever what they’re first showing it to be.  Communicate, have patience, listen, dig deeper, and get to the bottom of things.  That is what it takes to show our children that they are indeed not alone, that we do care, and that we’re willing to step up and do whatever it takes.  They’re worth it.